How to Write Award-Winning Poetry

I've studied published poems that have earned their writers prestige and even scholarships. Never have I "understood" poetry, but I know what it takes to be a successful poet. You, too, can craft an award-winning poem if you follow these seven simple guidelines:

1. Never complete a sentence.
2. Forget ever punctuating with a period.
   
3. Don't worry about anything rhyming. If you insist on a rhyme, be sure to make it only a close match, but certainly never a perfect rhyme.
4. Iambic pentameter is no good either.
   
5. Avoid logical, sequential thoughts. Keep it loose.
6. Heavy on the adjectives.
7. Conceal the poem's meaning so every reader can come away with his own novel interpretation.

To help you further, I will now write a potentially publishable poem of my own for your careful study.

Dubya
Dubya
Big, old, white house--four years;
Tax cuts, Osama, no child left behind
The world hears you
Honor, dignity, no cigars allowed
Justice, freedom, liberty
Cruelty, bondage, oppression
Kerry and his "global test"
But we need no permission
George, never let 'em heckle ya,
because you're our favorite Dubya
Dubya

Attention generous grant-givers: You may leave your contact information in the comments section. I will consider allowing you to reprint my poem for a handsome fee.